The story of gender violence in India, when a daughter is a burden

News24xx.com - As traditionally in Indian society, if have a son is preferred because they are considered as the main breadwinner of the family and are expected to take care of their parents when they grow old. But, if they have a daughter is seen as a burden due to their widespread.

A report by the Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation predicts that the number of girls born is likely to decline further. Despite the tough abortion laws, but 12 million girls have been aborted over the past three decades by parents. These incidents are not only prevelant in remote areas, but also in big cities and within more highly educated families.

A tragic story occuredto a woman from India named Parveen Khan. In March 29, 2009, her husband walked into her room and bit her face in an act of revenge. Biting the nose is a punishment in India's society and will giving her a bad reputation.

Before her husband came to her room, he gave their children some sweets.

It was a Sunday afternoon when Khan, 33, went to take a nap after working. Her daughters, Bulbul Fareen and Saniya Shaheen, were playing outside with the children from the neighbourhood.

"He jumped on me when I was sleeping, grabbed me and chewed my face off … He chewed on me like an animal. I screamed so hard but no one came to help me," she said.

Hameed, 46, was Khan's second husband. At the age of 12, her family married her off to a man twice her age, despite laws prohibiting child marriage.

Parveen Khan born in the remote Morena district in central India's Madhya Pradesh state. Her father work asa low-paid worker, and it made Khan was never encouraged to go to school like other girls in her neighbourhood. At the age of 12, her family married her off to a man twice her age.

"I remember I was very happy to be a bride. I was dressed in a bright red dress and had red lipstick on," Khan said. But, just within weeks, Khan realised if she was living with a man who did not love and respect her. She was regularly beaten.

Hameed, 46, was Khan's second husband. She met with Hameed when she was 16. And the two fell in love. Khan told her parents she was not going back to her first husband. Khan married with Hameed, at that time, he was 21-year-old. After she married, she never spoke to her parents again.

"I experienced love for the first time and felt alive. Hameed was someone who proclaimed his love to me every day and promised to take care of me as I had no one left in my life after walking out of my first marriage," Khan said.

But within four months, the marriage was in shambles and the cycle of abuse - psychological and physical - began, because her husband suspected her have an affair with her first husband. Three years into her marriage, Khan got pregnant with her first child. Hameed was not very excited about it and expressed his wish for a son.

"Nine months passed and I gave birth to a baby girl. Hameed stormed out of the hospital when he looked at our daughter," Khan recalled.

When she was expecting for the second time, Hameed insisted the baby should be aborted if it was a girl.

"Three months into my pregnancy, Hameed took me to the hospital to find out the gender of my baby. I screamed and cried, but he pulled me from my hair and dragged me to the hospital to find out. Without asking me, he forced me inside the hospital to aborted that baby girl".

Her husband forced her to abort for the third time after finding out that it was a baby girl.

"I was shattered, heartbroken and could not recover from the trauma of two innocent babies being murdered just because of their gender. I hated myself for a very long time, could not be happy and kept mourning for my lost children"

Two abortions in one year weakened Khan and a year later she suffered a miscarriage. In two years, she had lost three children and physical exhaustion took a toll on her.

In 2006, when Khan got pregnant again she promised herself to keep her baby. She hid her pregnancy from her husband until she was six months along.

"We were arguing about something and he got angry at me, locked me in a room and started hitting me with a hockey stick. Hameed kicked me with a full swing on my lower back," Khan told.

"I fell on the ground and started bleeding and that is when my husband found out that I was pregnant. My baby girl survived somehow and I gave birth to another beautiful girl."

Khan demanded a divorce after she gave birth to Saniya, her second daughter, but Hameed refused. This went on for two and a half years, but to no avail. Hameed kept refusing so Khan walked out and started to live separately with her daughters.

Hameed was never prosecuted as Khan was tricked by his family into forgiving him.  Years after being mutilated by her husband, she still fears for her life and the safety of her children.

Khan's eldest daughter, 20-year-old Bulbul, is pursuing a master's degree in business administration and wants to make her mother proud. Saniya, 11, Khan's second daughter, is in seventh grade and wants to work for the government when she grows up.

"My daughters are my sons, they are studying and will do respectable jobs in future. I know they will take care of me. I want to tell everyone that daughters are not a burden, they are a blessing." Khan says.

 

 

 

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